A Makeup & Beauty Blog – Lipglossiping

When you’ve been unwell for longer than a few days, it takes time to find your feet again. Although your body may have valiantly shrugged off the last of the lurgy, it can take your emotions a little bit longer to recover.

I don’t mean to sound emo, I’m actually feeling quite chipper on the surface, and yet… definitely not back to normal. Pile onto that a bit of guilt at not being up to par blog-wise, work-wise, diet-wise, even mummy-wise and the need to re-balance becomes essential.

I know that I’m more of a review/swatch blog, but lately I feel a little more like just… talking, or even just exploring what else I can bring to the blogging table. Please don’t feel as if you need to listen, I talked on here (and my old blogs) before I knew any of you, and I’m sure I’ll continue long after you get bored with me. I’m just feeling a little disillusioned with blogging, it’s been that way for longer than I’d like to admit but I’m not sure how to mend it. If I took my own advice, I’d probably have a break… step away from wordpress, twitter, my online existence for a while. Except, how does one box up their online life until they’re ready to rediscover its contents when it’s such a huge part of who they are?

Eleven years ago, I wrote my dissertation on virtual communities, I met my husband-to-be in a chat room, he makes online flash games for a living, and I… well I contribute to the household income by writing a blog. Approximately 93% of my friends, I met online and communicate with… online. I’d need a fucking big box wouldn’t I?

The blogging community I was once proud to be part of has evolved into something different, as things tend to do. I’ve never blogged for fame or with any desire to be a blogging it girl and I have never been comfortable pr-ing myself. I’ve never been part of a blogging network and I’ve never seen this as a stepping stone to something better. I rarely attend events because I hate networking and putting on a facade of confidence which positively drains me the next day. I tried upping my competitive nature for a short while but it made me unhappy. The only undercurrent of a desire except for the enjoyment of blogging has been to earn enough money so that I can do it without being a drain on my family. I’m not sure that this is entirely possible without a legion of You Tube fans or at the very least, one hell of a killer instinct.

So, instead of taking a step back, I’m just going to accept that I may need to diversify as the year progresses. Will I have to go and find a “proper” job? Maybe. Do I want to? Hell no… I’ve loved enjoying spending so much time with Leila, it’s been a privilege that I don’t want to give up. But, she’ll be starting school this year and I do miss blogging for nothing other than the sheer love of it, so perhaps it will be for the best.

I think Winter does this to you, I’m aching for the warmer weather that signals the start of our geocaching season. Now that Leila is bigger, she will hopefully, finally show an interest in some wonderful weekend-long treasure-hunts with her Mum and Dad. Moving into the flat meant that to a certain degree, last Summer was a bit of write off… we were so busy fretting over starting our new life, that we forgot to actually live it. Christmas was amazing, as it always is but when my sister returned home to Australia, I think she took a bit too much of my heart with her.

You see, I’m not really sure what I’m saying… but I’m glad I’m saying it. The perils of wanting to be a pro-blogger without wanting to always conduct yourself in a professional manner are playing havoc with my blog relationship and as with any relationship, they all require hard work and a lot of honesty.

Don’t reply. I’m not fishing for comments… I’m just alleviating a bit of my blogging-guilt. Tomorrow, I’m building Leila a wendy house from the huge cardboard box that her “big girl’s” car seat got delivered in, and who knows… I might even bring myself to give away that massive bar of Fruit & Nut Dairy Milk that’s been doing nothing for my diet-guilt.

Down with guilt x

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my “look what I’VE got bitches!” photo that I put up last night.

I don’t usually show-off press samples and I’m sorry if it made you want to stab me in the face with an eyeliner (here, use mine) but the simple truth is that when you get a red lipstick with your name engraved on it, it’s quite hard to keep it to yourself, especially when your husband is getting more excited over the football than admiring your new red lipstick that has your freaking. name. on. it.

The thing is… I haven’t actually worn it. Or even put it to my lips yet. I mean, it’s beautiful, it’s pristine, did I mention that it has my name ENGRAVED on it?

What if I don’t like it? What if it gives me cat-bumhole lips? What if it’s the kind of red that makes me look like Ronald McDonald’s ugly lovechild? When something seems so utterly perfect, sometimes it’s better to just leave it alone. The disappointment would be akin to discovering that Bradley Cooper’s packing a teeny-tiny penis. Who wants to make that discovery?

Oh, who am I kidding? I give myself two-weeks before curiosity gets the better of me. I’m talking lipsticks, not Bradleys.

How do people get back into the swing of things after a break? Before Christmas, I went to a log cabin in the wilds of the New Forest (about as wild as one of those carousels with teacups) and had NO INTERNET. Yet, I still managed to blog daily via a non-3G connection on my phone doing the classic standing on a chair and holding the phone at a 37 degree angle until I saw a bar (“I’ve got a signal!! I’ve got a signal!!”) thing…

Fast forward three weeks: introduce a bottle of vodka, GTA IV and the leftovers from the Celebrations tin and it takes me all the effort in the world just to get a wash.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m feeling delicate. And a bit slow. And this is my rubbish excuse for only now posting about my Christmas pressies when the rest of the blogosphere are planning their Valentine’s gift guides, the bastards.

Anyway, I must have been a very good girl this year because Father Christmas was extremely kind to me. Not as kind as he was to my husband who got a 46″ telly, a graphics tablet, AND a book about space. Sexual favours I expect… but regardless of my husband’s devious ways of ensuring that old St. Nick favours his stocking, I did very well indeed. Wanna nosey?

Mr L got me this beautiful silver necklace from Etsy, it’s so delicate and perfect <3 – who knew he was capable of such good taste anyway?! I don’t usually wear much jewellery – I still haven’t even taken my wedding band to be resized – but I’ve barely taken this off since I unwrapped it on Christmas morning.

He also bought me a Heart Rate Monitor for running… in theory, this should help me work out my perfect pace for burning calories vs. being able to actually prolong the workout! When I was running last year, I had a habit of starting off too hard and fast and exhausting myself well before 5k, hopefully this will help me find a suitable pace.

He also got me a running buff, kind of like a neck/throat/mouth warmer… my asthma hates this cold weather for any kind of exercise and last year, I was running with a fleece scarf tucked around my gob – I looked like a uncoordinated ninja!

To rebel against all this fitness malarky, I also got a beautiful red lipstick from Estee Lauder, you can be sure of a FOTD soon!

This one’s a bit cheaty because these sandals were a bit of a present to me… from me! I’d been craving them since I saw them in Selfridges early last Summer, I even instagrammed them! I eventually spotted them at the KG outlet in Gunwharf Quay while I was having a bit of a shop with HelenJNT, and snapped them up for a bargain price. Now I’ve just got to wait for the sun to come out!

I told you I was a spoilt girl, I got a new phone! Usually, I’m about 2 years behind everyone else when it comes to phones… but we justified the splurge on the fact that if Mr. L is going to port his games onto iPhone, he totally needs an iPhone5 in the house so that he can bug test. I’m giving him my iPhone4 and he’ll retire his HTC. It’s actually killing him a little… he is not much of an Apple fan… poor love. WHATEVER!!! I’VE GOT AN IPHONE5! MOAR INSTAGRAM.

I’m currently baby-ing it and being laughed at because I’m refusing to remove the plastic covers until my screen protectors get here!

Leila got me (thanks Mr. L!) a beautiful candle which she found in T.K. Maxx, it couldn’t actually be more perfect – it’s rich, woody, and a little bit masculine (just how I like ’em!) It’s both warming and calming with the tiniest hint at incense… honestly, the girl couldn’t have chosen better.

My last gift (which you may have spotted at the back there), is a new lens for my camera! Woohoo! It’s the Canon 40mm 2.8 pancake lens, so it’s really slimline and will be great for taking out and about with me. It’s a beaut and very reasonably priced!

I also got a cake pop maker (yeahhh!), a cook-book, a lovely scarf, some socks (essential) and some money. I don’t think there’s any way that I can be possibly be well-behaved enough to beat this haul next Christmas, I’m a very lucky girl.

What did you get for Christmas? Tell me!

Dear friends,

I wish you all the best that 2013 has to offer and I want to thank you for reading my words over the last twelve months, I really hope that you’ve enjoyed my efforts at entertainment.

I’m not sure what the next year will hold for lipglossiping.com (more makeup than you can shake an eyeliner brush at is my guess) but whatever I blog, I sincerely hope that you’ll be with me every step of the way – you enrich this experience and make it so very enjoyable for me.

Have a good one x

Did you have a good Christmas?  Did Father Christmas prove that you’d been a good girl this year?

I won’t apologise for my absense because it’s been a lovely – if unintended – break from the blog.  I couldn’t believe that it had been over a week since my last post when I checked last night and I got the immediate guilts before breaking into another packet of dry roasted peanuts (diet starts next week, thank god), reaching for the orange juice (and the vodka) and settling down to a late-night blast of GTA IV with my husband.  You see, before L came along – we loved nothing more than playing video games late into the night and it’s something that we don’t do anymore… until this Christmas.  Cue lots of bleary-eyed mornings with Leila jumping on the bed and us begging her for five-more-minutes.  Kids are the toughest nuts to crack, the gestapo wouldn’t have broken her resolve, so we’ll need to get back into our normal routines again very soon before we die of sleep deprivation!

But, it has been nice… and I can’t wait for next Christmas… (don’t shoot me!)

I said goodbye to my sister and her family a couple of days ago when they flew back to Australia, it always rips my heart out a little… she emigrated when I was 8, you’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I always get a bit melancholy over a sister/sister relationship that we’ve never been able to cultivate due to the distance (and the fact that I’m rubbish on the phone!)  Anyone else have a similar bittersweet Christmas experience when it comes to relatives?

Anyway, Christmas is all about kids and I hope that I managed to make Leila’s magical.  As a three year old, I feel that this is the first Christmas that she’s really understood and I’ve layed it on as thick as I could.  The best Christmas gift I can give her is that unadulterated Chrimbo excitement that will hopefully follow her into her adult years so that she can pass it on to her children one day.  Having said that, she did have a plate of cocktail sausages for her Christmas dinner, so it might not be quite as fully traditional as I’d hoped!

Here’s some photos from our first family Christmas in our new home together, the first I’d had away from my Mum and Dad in 31 years!

Christmas nails with Butter London Knees Up and The Full Monty

Slightly healthy mincemeat and apple pies (but only ‘cos I didn’t make enough pastry for lids!)

Our first family Christmas tree!

Our 2nd Christmas tree (a mini 3ft one for the sitting room)

Our poundshop angel bought in panic when Leila decided life couldn’t continue without a tree angel after we’d bought a star *sigh*

Our mini tree – the only one we could squeeze in the sitting room!

Decs and cards!

Reindeer in the New Forest

Leila visiting a winter wonderland in the New Forest

She wasn’t too keen on Father Christmas, cool threads though!

It’s not Christmas without a dirty chicken tikka kebab…

… and a few episodes of The Avengers! (especially “Too Many Christmas Trees”)

Our bargain Christmas lamp from Tesco!

Packing up the Christmas Eve box full of excitement-making goodies

It’s CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

Christmas Pyjamas at my Mum and Dad’s house!

Someone is excited!

Don’t tell anyone, but we ran out of Mince Pies!  Father Christmas got the “pick” of the Celebrations box though…

JUST. ONE. MORE. SLEEP!

Nearly there!

We might be family, but all niceties are off when it comes to bowling.

My Christmas ballerina.

Christmas Dinner and Crackers!

Leila’s new coat! (and Calamity Jane outfit + Christmas Jumper!)

Christmas Dinner (pyrex jug for gravy = classy bird)

onion rings = even classier bird, what?!?!

Baileys in a Guinness glass…  I’ll just stop pretending now shall I?

…and he did!

No chimney here, thank God for magic keys!

Merry Christmas from us xxx

Apologies for the lack of posts toward the tail end of last week and over the weekend… let me explain…

I broke my car, tied the bumper on with tinsel to get it home (it was all I could find in Ikea), caught a stinking cold, dragged my snotty self to London and back (like it’s the Antarctic or something), lost my wallet while in London, broke my Dad’s car (the one that I had borrowed to replace my car), and discovered that Leila had come down with a hefty dose of chickenpox on Friday night.  The poor little mite is now absolutely covered, even her eyelids… my heart is breaking for her.  And just to compound the bad luck, my family are over from Australia (as since a 4am airport run yesterday *yawn*), and we can’t take her to visit them until she’s non-contagious because my nephew’s never had the pox!  I mean, c’mon!  Give a girl a break already.

Because of all this palava, I didn’t get to make it to Hyper Japan as I’d planned this weekend, gutted much?  Also, can I have some cheese with my whine?

So anyway, them be the reasons for being AWOL for much of last week.  I think they’re quite good ones, better than “dog ate my homework” at least.

Because I know you’re all dying to know what I got up to in London, YOU ARE AREN’T YOU? *puppy eyes etc. etc… just nod, I’ll be off soon*… here’s a quick mishmash of snaps hinting at the kind of posts you’ll be seeing later in the week.

How “speshul” do I look getting my makeup done?  I swear to God that’s a perfect mix of bemusement and pity on the makup artist’s face right there.

On a more positive note, I got the chance to stock up on my favourite chocolates from Selfridges, indulge in a little Guerlain purchase, buy three of those Miss Sporty Metal Flip polishes for a global giveaway, AND treat myself to a Diptyque candle.  Also a washing machine, but I won’t bore you with that one.

How has your weekend been?  Did my lovely U.S. friends enjoy Thanksgiving?

On a side-note, can we get Thanksgiving over here please?  Not the religious/historical bit, that would be a bit like suggesting we all celebrate 4th July, awkward.  Just the being thankful for what you have, no gifts, massive turkey thing.  I’m down with that.  Also, it might stop the supermarkets shoving CHRISTMAS in our faces from late September?  I think we’re being shortchanged a fairly acceptable holiday opportunity.

What say you?

I was supposed to be in London today but instead, I’m on a course of antibiotics and quaffing cranberry juice like it’s going out of fashion.  No prizes for guessing what’s wrong with me.  To alleviate the desire to drown myself in Tayto crisps and sorrow, I’m doing a blog instead.  “Doing a blog”.  That sounds elegant.

1).  The Boots Christmas advert!  Where have “the girls” gone?  I know they got a bit annoying after the novelty had worn off but it’s a bit like getting rid of a Chrimbo icon!  Have you seen the new one?

I won’t deny, it gives me the fuzzy feeling you want from the Christmas ads BUT, is it just me… can the rest of you understand what the Scottish chick is saying?!  It probably is just me, let’s face it… if I lived any further South, I’d be in France.  What do you think of the ad?  Does it make you wanna rush out and take advantage of the annual 3for2 gift frenzy?

2).  Following my weight whinge last week, I’ve set up a Twitter list of equally unmotivated types.  Shout me on Twitter if you want to join in… we have a Google Docs thing setup where we can publically shame ourselves into eating more healthily and attempting various forms of excercise.  We’re not sure where we’re going with it but it’s nice to be congratulated when one of us does a sit up.  Yes, just the one.

3).  Harvey Nichols are offering one of their spectacular gift with purchases at the moment when you spend £95 instore in Beyond Beauty.  It seems like a lot, but let’s face it – if you’ve got Mum, Sister, Nan and favourite Aunty to buy beauty things for, you’re gonna clear £95 in no time at all.  Wanna get down to the nitty gritty and discover what’s inside?

Percy & Reed Foaming Treatment Mousse, Blinc Mascara/Eye liner – 0.7g, He Shi – Exfoliating Body Wash 50ml, Ren – Frankincense Night Cream – 15ml, Dr Hauschka – Make Up (Product may vary), Aspects – High Tech – Lash Extender 13ml, Ole Henriksen – Truth Serum Booster 15ml, Fake Bake – Tinted Body Glow 2oz, GHD – Final Fix Hairspray – 75ml, Strivectin SD Cream 0.75oz, Macadamia – Oil – 10ml, Mario Badescu – 30ml Moisturiser, Soap & Glory – Nude SMP Lip Gloss.

What do you think, worth it?

Also, whilst on the subject of Harvey Nics… the new Beauty Bazaar is now open in Liverpool ONE (and what a fabulous shopping arena that is).  Three floors of products, brands and services to fulfill your beauty-loving heart’s desire.  Blimey.

4). If you’re South of the Watford Gap… there’s still some shopping excitement available courtesy of Selfridges Beauty Workshop (which Istillhaven’t visited!).  The self-appointed “beauty playground” boasts over 150 products and services and now offers a Beauty Card which can be purchased and redeemed against various services and gift packages.

5).  Still on the subject of shopping (is there any other?)… who’s going to Hyper Japan this year?  I wanted to go in February but couldn’t persuade Mr. L into giving up his Saturday.  I’ve played it clever this time and told him that Konami and Namco Bandai are there… he told me I had a deal.  Me?  I’m just gonna enjoy the pretty kimonos, kawaii accessories, and well… you know, food.  Tickets to the UKs biggest J-Culture event are £12 in advance or £15 on the door and the show runs from the 23rd – 25th November.

Right then my lovelies, that’s a little round up of the best of my email inbox and the worst of my brain.  I’m off to go feel sorry for myself a little bit more, I haven’t had enough cups of tea delivered to my bedside yet today…. and you know, I need the liquid for medicinal reasons – not just because it’s tea.  Made for me, by someone else.  Nuh uh. x

Please excuse a photo post, it’s not Wednesday yet so I can’t even excuse it with a “wordless” prefix.  However, it is 3am and I’m yawning in time with my keyboard taps.  Thank you so much for your amazing comments on my post yesterday, it’s so good to hear that even in the most ridiculous of situations, there are always people keeping me company by doing exactly. the. same. thing.  You idiots 😉

Anyway, we promised Leila a trip to see the fireworks this bonfire night.  Last year, I was a bit more organised and we went to the big display in Winchester – which I thoroughly recommend.  This year, after a quick shout-out on Twitter, I discovered that the town of Alresford (about 14 miles away) was having a display, so after picking Leila up from pre-school, we hot-footed it up the M3.  £14 for two adults?  Ok, I know it’s for charity and you mustn’t grumble (I still grumbled) but don’t they know there’s a recession going on?!  AND there was no Starbucks this time.  BOO.

It was an “ok” display, hampered by a change in wind direction which meant that most of the whizz-bangs were let off from behind a great (or “gurt” as we say in this neck of the woods) big tree. We probably wouldn’t do this one again…

Here are some photos – they’re handheld and not the best, there was less people and subsequently less light than at last years display – you’ll notice I got busy with my fisheye again!

Did you get the sparklers out last night or over the weekend?

When you want something, you work hard and you achieve it.  That’s the way things are supposed to happen.  And if they don’t happen this way, then you only have your lazy-ass self to blame.

Which is why I’ve been feeling quite cross with myself recently.  You see, over the last few years, I’ve lost a lot of weight – around six stones in total and in that time, I’ve hit plateau after plateau, fell off the wagon repeatedly, and sailed down the scales with the wind behind me when the going’s been good.

When you’re very overweight, it can take a long time to notice that you’re even losing the excess baggage.  In my experience, it’s only when I get to the level where I can see the effects of developing muscle tone that I start to feel properly trim… I also put myself under a lot of pressure, and it’s frightening how quickly I shift my goalposts of what is an “acceptable” weight/fitness level.  I can definitely appreciate how people get sucked into the “just one more stone” weight loss mentality.

But my problem is, I’m on my way back up the scales.  Not just a glitch… I didn’t fall headfirst into a plate of roast potatoes too many times last month.  I’m simply creeping steadily back to my tunic tops and over-sized jumpers.  My fitness levels have also plummeted… earlier in the Summer, climbing the stairs to my front door felt like nothing, literally.  Not any more!

Weight Watchers was great for me, and I’ve just signed on again last weekend… but the disruption after moving house in the Summer completely shifted my mindset from “eating well”, to “eating cheaply” and although I’m certain those two things aren’t mutually exclusive – it feels like I have to work a lot harder to create inexpensive, filling, and healthy meals for the family.  This is part of it… the other part is that the area we’ve moved to, isn’t really the kind of place I feel safe to be running around in, at least, not after dark.  Throw in the plummeting temperature, the fact that all my “skinny girl” clothes aren’t fitting me, and I’m in a huge motivational slump.

This sounds like a massive pity party, it honestly isn’t.  It’s an admission to myself.

I haven’t admitted to myself that I’m unhappy with the way things are heading again.  Sure, I’ve moaned about my clothes being tighter, done the whole “boo, I’m getting fat again!” thing (three times a day), but truly admitting that the current situation is having a massive effect on my daily mood?  No.  Because I don’t like admitting that I am so defined by this issue.  I want to be defined by the way I treat my family, how good I am (or not) at my job, hobbies, and passions… even just my smile.  I don’t want this to have such a huge impact on who I am and how I feel about everything.

But it does, and I’m admitting that here and now.  Because, you know what?

It’s ok.

My weight, and more specifically, the way I deal with food, is not a problem that’s going to disappear when the scales magically hit the 10 stone mark, I have issues with food and exercise that are so entwined around my 31-years of existence that I can’t possibly expect them to evaporate.  Certainly not overnight, and possibly not ever.  My current issue isn’t even really about my increasing weight, it’s the anger I’m feeling at my apathy toward challenging myself again and my attempts at pretending I’m ok with it.  When I’m not.

I will not deal with unhappiness by suppressing it, any fool could tell you that won’t end well.

But in the meantime, does anyone have any practical tips (think: rocket up bum) for digging oneself out of a hole of imagined indifference?  Hard work I can do (when I put my mind to it) but this is like fucking treacle.

How entwined is your current emotional well-being with your current physical shape?

I first visited Prague about 7 years ago, my brother had just bought an apartment in the city and was keen to show us around the areas he’d fallen in love with.  It didn’t take long to catch the bug and before the 4-days were up, I was already planning a return visit.

Three visits later and I’m still as firmly in love with the place as I was back the first time round.  Having said that, even in the short space of seven years, a lot has changed and it feels far more tourist-orientated than it did back in 2005… it’s also a little more expensive but thankfully, charm still oozes from every back-street, pivnice, and cobbled alleyway.

Pick up any tourist guide and you’ll be directed to the most popular sights: The Astronomical Clock, Old Town Square, Charles Bridge, and the Castle.  But Prague is so much more than that and if you stick to these major attractions alone, you will miss the hidden gems that make the city so magical!  Here are a few of my favourite things to do in Prague.

Drink.

Well you don’t go to a country and not immerse yourself in the local culture do you?! They say that the Czechs drink more beer than any one else in the world, and when you compare both the price and the taste to the stuff we get in this country, you can see why.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that it’s generally cheaper to buy a glass of beer than a bottle of water.  In the tourist areas, you can expect to pay anything up to 50/60 CZK (£2.00) for half a litre but if you step just a little off the beaten track, you shouldn’t pay any more than 35CZK (£1.20).  It becomes a bit of a challenge finding the best-looking drinking spot for your money, and if they serve authentic Czech food as well?  Even better!

There are many varieties when it comes to beer in Prague and all of them far less gassy and more drinkable than ours: Gambrinus, Pilsner Urquell, Krusovice, Kozel, Budvar, and Staropramen are the ones you’re most likely to come across but if you’re a real beer buff, there are microbreweries to be found allover the city offering their own unique blends. My favourite? Well it changes every time I visit – I suggest you give them all a chance 😉  Na zdraví!

Walk.

Yeah, yeah, the trams are cute but I’m a firm believer that you can only begin to understand a city once you’ve walked across it.  Prague is very walkable, if a little hilly in places!  Cobbles are everywhere so don’t even attempt it in a pair of ballet flats, your feet will not thank you.  If you’ve got an iPhone, download a walking guide and give it a go, this one isn’t too bad, particularly as you can add your own tour to the itinerary, it’s also cheaper than a guide book!  You don’t get these kind of views just from sitting on a tram guys!

I’m happy to admit that I sometimes need a little motivation to pull on my walking boots and drag myself away from the shops.  If you’ve got a camera, start a little project to capture the city’s beauty in less conventional ways.  A city like Prague offers a wealth of quirks, some of you may be aware of my door fetish!  Capture the spires, the gargoyles, statues, or the graffiti (there’s lots!) – do whatever you need to do to keep on walking, it’s the easiest but most rewarding way to get a feel for the city.

Explore the lesser-known delights of Petrin.

Once you’ve done the Charles Bridge, the Astronomical Clock and the Castle… don’t just assume you’ve done it all.  My favourite things to do in Prague are none of those – infact, I get people rage in the built up areas (Y U WALK AT 0MPH!!!)  Intolerance is my forte.  Seriously though, for a little taste – here are some of my favourite places to visit in just one small part of Prague, high up on a hill… an area known as Petrin, the green lung of the city:

1. Grab the furnicular to the top of Petrin (appreciating the view on the way up) and head for the Petrin Tower.  It’s a mini replica of the Eiffel Tower and is well worth the climb!  You can reward yourself with an ice-cream when you get back down but beware – if you are unfit, take your time on the ascent.  I power-walked it and literally couldn’t move for about three days afterward!  The best view is from halfway up, so if you are feeling a little lazy – take solace in the knowledge that the very top of the tower smells of B.O., has scratched perspex for windows and isn’t “open” like the first level – you could skip it… but then you don’t get the satisfaction of knowing you climbed all the way up!

2. Get a sense of size at the Strahov Stadium.  The Strahov Stadium is probably the biggest thing you’ve never heard of. That would be because it is the biggest stadium. In the world. Seating 250,000 people and holding 8 full-size football pitches, it’s a behemoth of an arena, nowadays only used to host the occasional concert. Its dilapidated state only adds to its Soviet-esque “charm” and it was indeed, used as a bit of a regime showpiece for mass gymnastic displays watched by millions of spectators during the country’s communist era. Worth a peek before it falls into complete disrepair.

 3. Get a sense of proportion at the Museum of Miniatures.  A great “distraction” not far from Petrin and the Strahov Monastery is the Museum of Miniatures. A two-room display, featuring some wonderful tiny masterpieces including The Lords Prayer written on a human hair and even a flea wearing golden horseshoes! To appreciate the finer details in all these mini-marvels, microscopes are set up along the display cabinets. Entrance is only around £2/£3 each and although it won’t keep you entertained for hours, it’s one of those places that will instill a sense of childhood wonder and plenty of “how did they do that?!”

4. See the stars at Stefanik’s Observatory.  Sitting atop of Petrin stands Stefanik’s Observatory and its two publicly-accessible telescopes. If you want to be charmed by Saturn’s rings, faraway nebulas, and the brightest stars in the sky, it’s well worth forking out the minuscule entrance fee (around £2) for an expert opinion and a close-up view. If you can’t make it up there at night, the observatory also offers daytime observations of the sun and its solar flares and hotter-than-hot sun spots. One of the most-underrated activities in the whole of the city.

5. Get historical with The Hunger Wall and The Memorial to the Victims of Communism.  Looking up at the hill from the impressive Most Legii (bridge of The Legions), you’ll see a stone wall running up the side of the hill. This is the Hunger Wall, over 1200 metres long and built in the 1300s to add to the defences of the nearby castle. The construction of the wall provided a livelihood for the city’s poor, thus earning itself its name. At the base of the wall, and indeed, the base of the hill – is a memorial commemorating the victims of the communist era, and featuring seven bronze figures in various stages of human decay. It’s a poignant reminder of those who were impacted by the regime. If you’re feeling up to walking back down the hill, this is a good place to finish your journey!

This is just a tiny, tiny, look at some of my favourite things that Prague has to offer… I haven’t talked about the shopping, food, or indeed anywhere else other than a very small part of the city. It’s not my usual posting and I’m all too aware that it might be horribly boring – but as I instagrammed my way around the city last month, I received some questions and requests for a little guide – so hopefully this was, at least, semi-interesting in parts.

Don’t worry, I won’t be doing it for all my holiday destinations and I’m not about to branch out into travel blogging(!) but Prague captures my heart, and is the one place in the world I could see myself living, other than in the UK. Part two coming when I get around to it!

Have you been to Prague?

I’m going to write about something that’s a bit out of character for me.  I’m not really sure why I feel a compulsion to do it, it’s not that it’s hard for me to talk about… it’s just that I don’t usually like to piss on your cereal with anything too heavy nowadays.  I also don’t like to be judged unless I know that I’ve explained myself accurately, beautifully, and usually to the point of exhaustion – something that I’m not entirely brilliant at doing.

For the last few weeks I’ve been thinking more and more frequently about an episode I endured over a two-year period between 2007 – 2009, perhaps it’s because a few of my blogging peers and friends have opened up to share their experiences with the tougher times in their lives and the frequent rounds of depression they’ve battled but whatever the reason, I’d like to begin by apologising to anyone who recognises a bandwagon jump when they see it – I’ve surely been inspired to write this, it’s definitely not something I’d actually sit down and compose out of choice but I can’t shake off the compulsion and if I’m completely honest, I’m afraid that if I don’t use this as an exercise in ridding myself of my demons, they may come back to bite me in the ass.  Longest sentence ever.

I was 25, had been married for 2 years and was content with how life was panning out.  Aside from my PCOS (and the related-issues this brings), I had nothing wrong with my health either physically or mentally and yet, I started to feel uneasy.  You know how some days, you wake up and can’t shake off the feeling that something isn’t quite right?  That became my every day, the worst kind of groundhog day.  I rarely had the kind of panic attack that needed a paper-bag to alleviate the pain and only once did I manage to work myself into such a frenzy of fear that I temporarily lost the feeling in my arms, which hilariously (with hindsight), made me freak out even more.

I had the sort of anxiety that left me feeling in partial control, failing at not being able to shake off the dread, nor pull myself together.  My first thought upon waking was to immediately assess my levels of fear/dread – I’d run through a series of checks: steady heartrate? (check), palpitations? (check), breathing? (check), shaking hands? (check).  Of course, when you’re so damn focused on taking your pulse and analysing any little chest flutters, it’s quite easy to convince yourself that you’ve got an undiagnosed heart condition.  I’d spend evenings lying across Paul’s lap, sobbing that I just wanted to go to hospital so that they could run a shit load of tests – truth be told, they could never have run enough tests to convince me that I wasn’t dying.  I didn’t go to hospital, I was too afraid of making a fuss and being branded a hypochondriac (which to be honest, I was) – but I did go to my GP who prescribed me beta-blockers.  Worst things ever.  My heart rate simply ran at odds with the speed at which my mind was travelling and that in itself left me feeling constantly nauseous and even less in control than before.

I read up on anxiety, Google was my friend but all I found were people on forums who felt as hopeless as I did – taking blind steps toward a normality that seemed like a distant memory.  I’ll say for certain that I never found myself out of options, but exploring them exhausted me and I don’t mind admitting that sleep was my greatest comfort – you don’t feel frightened when you’re sleeping.  Or anything at all.

My worst moment came at my Nan’s funeral in 2007, she’d lived with us and had endured Alzheimers for over 10 years, a stronger lady you never did meet.  When I sat outside the crematorium, certain that the symptoms of panic literally wouldn’t let me go inside to say goodbye properly – well, I’ve never felt so much anger in my life.  I ended up withdrawing from normal life more and more, it’s one thing to feel a tide of panic rising when you’re at home… quite another when you’re out shopping, surrounded by strangers.

I’d like to say that I slowly overcame the anxiety, addressing each symptom with thought and reason through some kind of cognitive therapy that provided answers and the tools to fight back, but the truth is that I had very little input into its resolution.  Recovery happened more quickly than I would have dared to anticipate and with each passing day, I slowly forgot to assess how afraid I was at any given moment in time, something that undoubtedly helped a great deal.

The episode remains a mystery to me, I sometimes think about the possibility of it returning… I like to think that it was, indeed, caused by an infection or something hormonal affecting my psyche (I’m only too aware of what a urine infection can do for a patient with dementia) and although I may be wrong, thinking of it in more physical terms brings me comfort and gives weight to a condition that feels so damn abstract when you’re going through it.

The only thing that I can be certain of is that having someone who would listen to me being completely unreasonable, time and time again, without judgement… anchoring me, both physically and mentally, helped me more than he could ever know.

There’s a few things I want to fit into today’s Sunday Summary… so I better get straight to the point…

1.  Can someone please come round and sort my makeup out for me?  I keep looking and not knowing how to organise… I have a 6-drawer Malm.  The 2 Helmers neatly held everything that I wanted but this Malm is all cumbersome and dark-in-the-corners.  I might be able to fit more mascaras inside but I’ll be damned if I can fish them out from the depths without cursing and picking up a concealer by accident.  I want my old storage back but there’s just no room for it in the flat.

2.  Fragrance fans, you may be interested in dropping in to Selfridges (London) for a chat with Union creative perfumer, Anastasia Brozler who will be celebrating the launch of the brand’s new perfume stand in-store on the 23rd & 24th of this month. The uber-exclusive frags are unique in their use of ingredients and notes sourced from the four-corners of our great British landscape.

Also on a related-Selfridges note… it might be a bit early to get your skin pampered in prep for any Christmas parties but luxury skincare brand Omorovicza are offering their deep-cleansing and pore-refining facial as part of Selfridge’s Beauty Workshop next week.  The 60-minute facial costs £85.00 but is fully redeemable against the purchase of Omorovicza products – you can book a facial by calling 0800 138 7425

3.  I doubled my recipe and made my salted-chocolate cupcakes into a salted-chocolate layer cake this week.  I’m going to hell in a very large coffin.  This and Calamity Jane have been Leila’s highlights of the week.

4.  Talking of cakes… did you know that you can win a cake made of Carmex (won’t taste as nice as mine but IS less fattening) in celebration of their 75th anniversary?! – more details are on their facebook page

5.  Non-beauty related – does anyone wanna see my Christmas Eve box? (not that kind of box, don’t worry)  I won’t show you if you’re gonna throw things at me for being organised though…

6.  Can I ask you guys for your thoughts on the Boots No7 Lash Adapt, I went to repurchase this week and they’ve changed the packaging from my old one…

I didn’t like it to begin with… but the formula has dried out a bit and I’m loving it but it needs replacing very soon!

I also still love the No7 Exceptional Definition one as-well, though nothing beats my HG Benefit They’re Real – except that the pennies won’t stretch and I want to save my Boots points for something SPECIAL at Christmas!  Anywayyyyy, I get scared when a brand changes its packaging… has anyone tried the Lash Adapt recently?  Have they changed the formula?  Will I still get lashes like in the below picture?

7.  Finally, my camera has been put to some non-makeup-taking-photos use this week and I’ve finally been learning about shooting with a 2-light studio setup.  I was keen to get a human under the lights but unfortunately one of my favourite subjects had the ‘pox and wouldn’t play model for me.  It’s just dresses (very, very lovely dresses!) but you can have a nosey here at my first attempt at high-key commercial shooting if you’d like.  My mannequin dressing/posing needs some serious practice.

Hope you’ve had a lovely weekend, it feels like the weeks are literally flying by at the moment and for once, I don’t mind too much as it means that I’ll be seeing my sister again soon!