Back in the days of stumpgate, the wonderful Sirvinya kindly offered to send me a spare pack of her Nailene false nails that she’d received for review purposes.
I was tragically distraught at the state of my tips and would have ripped the packet out of her hands given half the chance. Living a good many miles away from her she was saved that fate and I had to sit on my nails instead, waiting (impatiently) until the postman dropped them through my letterbox.
I’m not used to false nails, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve donned a set of these. I remember one occasion, I’d not long met my soon-to-be husband… we were young and cavalier back then. He lived over 300 miles away from me and we’d sneak weekends together whenever we got the chance. My 19yr old self obviously wanted to look my best, and I invested in a set of falsies (nails not tits) from Superdrug. I remember they were red. *roarrrr*
They kept falling off. Before my coach had even arrived in County Durham, I’d re-stuck them on about 50 times. The weekend was wonderful… we laughed, played Super Mario, drunk Lambrini and ate many slices of Salami pizza (you’ll be pleased to hear I’ve retained my classiness). I was demure, elegant and altogether rather swishy. That is until his mother told me a few years later that she’d found at least 6 of my stick-on red nails tangled in his bed sheets and thought her son had developed a “thing” for ladies of the night.
So, that was my very short lived affair with false nails… it was over as quickly as it had begun and I haven’t even considered them since. Until now.
These sounded as if they’d be easy to apply… but judging from the instructions, I could tell that removal was gonna be a pain in the backside.
I was right on both counts! I had no problems with application, no air bubbles, no visible glue, and boy do these buggers stick! I couldn’t resist doing that thing before removing them… yano, the ‘lifting’ thing.. seeing how much strain I could put on them, waiting for that satisying popping sound as they broke free from my nail bed. In hindsight, I’m freaking grateful it never came. I mean, what the hell was I thinking? It’s like spot-picking… you know you shouldn’t, but that doesn’t stop you.
Here they are in action:
They look… false, don’t they? Mannequin hands… I didn’t like how they looked on me. I have quite narrow nails, and these made my hands look pretty chunky and squat. Sizing was the issue, I couldn’t find one narrow enough to fit my index fingers properly. Can you tell? In the first picture I think it’s obvious that the index fingernail is too big. Not only that, but although it seemed to just about fit on the nail bed, I noticed that it started to hurt the cuticles about 12hrs later, so it was definitely too large.
Removal was… tedious. Worse than tedious. I soaked as instructed. What I failed to realise was that my Sally Hansen Nail Polish Remover was coloured blue. 10 minutes of soaking later, I emerged from my dip bowl with blue fingers up the knuckles. And they stayed that way for a couple of days. I think I preferred stumpgate.
What can you take away from this review other than the fact that I’m an idiot who was once mistaken for a prostitute?
Well, the nails are fine… if you like the look of them. They’re easy to apply, a bitch to remove and might not suit you if you have narrow nails. Look… I could have just saved myself about 3204 words right there.
Nailene So Real False Nails are available… actually, I’m not sure where they’re available in the UK… Boots? Superdrug? If you’ve seen ’em let me know so I can update!
Yeah i’m not a fan of false nails myself, be it stick-on or proper tips/acrylic nails- I just think they can look a little tacky, especially in the french manicure style. I guess i don’t mind them when they’re painted though. I have to say, those ones in your pics don’t look too bad though, although the one on your middle finger does look like it’d be sore after a while!
The only place I’ve ever found false nails that looked not-false and fit my extremely narrow fingers was in America. They get all the good stuff. I have to say though that those nails do look much better than anything I’ve seen in the UK.
I can’t say I’m disappointed in not using them after all! I have very small nail beds so I think I would have had similar issues. At least you survived Stumpgate in one piece 🙂
omg, how gorgeous do those false nails look. really really really like the look of them. yeah a bit fake but it doesnt bother me at all. i am worried about the removal part. what non blue product could I buy to soak my nails in for 20 minutes? thank you x
I love the story with your future DH and MIL! I guess that would ruin the desire to ever have fake nails again!
I don’t wear fakes simply because I was blessed with reasonably strong nails and I don’t want to ruin them like my mom ruined hers by wearing acrylics for years (which are a bit different but still).
Those actually look nice. You could always polish over the top to make them look more “real”.
yeh ive heard about these before.
i’m sure you can get them in asda! or is it supedrug? i duno but i’ve defo seen them. (try both) ..(asda first lol)
i think they look ice!
clean, trimmed very pretty. i’d get em but u hate it when the glue stays on the nails..
Oh sweetheart, you made me giggle with your story! I’ve got a box of these falsies given to me and I am hesitant about trying them on, mostly because I can’t bear the tedious process of removing them. I too have small fingers, nails and hands and have never tried false nails before. I might save them for a hen party as that is the only occasion it’s acceptable to look a fool and not be stared at for the wrong reasons!
@liloo – If your nails are in ok condition, or you’re happy to nourish them carefully afterwards, I’d get myself on eBay and buy a bottle of Pure Acetone like this – no staining and will remove false nails quicker than store bought nail polish remover. x
@charlotte oh yay, thank you so much!
I absouletly love nailene falsies they just work best for my, i also like the brand Fing’rs they have some pretty ones two but the glue i thinks works best is the Nailene ultra quick glue, you will have to buy it seprate from the actual nails but trus me its worth it completely! 🙂 I’ve also just found the brand called Kiss which for a while i didn’t know they made im Aussie but then one day i came across them in Big W so i bought a 200 pack of the short spuared plain one i can just paint over. It come with glue but i have no idea is its good as i haven’t even used the nails yet! But ill make sure i will and i’ll be uploading the review on them to Youtube ill let you know more details later 😉 XOXO