I hope this isn’t too deep for a Sunday evening/Monday morning, but it’s something that’s been playing on my mind for a few days.
I’ve noticed that disclosing my love for all things cosmetic to a colleague, friend or even family member often has a profound affect on the way I’m perceived by this person. I’m not completely discounting the possibility that I may be a little hyper-sensitive to this, but generally, I notice a shift in attitude. This usually involves them expressing a flicker of surprise followed by puzzlement and if they particularly care about me, there’s a genuine sense of disappointment that I don’t choose to invest my energies into something more worthwhile.
I wonder if it’s because I don’t conform to how people prejudiciously imagine fashionistas and their beauty equivalents should look, think and behave?
~ I’m above the age of 22
~ I don’t ‘air kiss’
~ I’m someone’s mother and wife
~ I don’t say ‘awwww bless’ lots
~ I run my own business
~ I can hold a relatively intelligent conversation on a variety of subjects (go me!)
~ I don’t have the *ahem* ideal body shape for displaying fashion
~ I don’t have a complete meltdown if I break a nail (just a mini one)
Don’t get me wrong… there are definitely some women that seem to revel in the stereotype. My Space-Cadet-O-Meter usually registers the vacuumed in cheekbones/overly ambitious pouting action displayed in some profile pictures. In general though, since discovering beauty blogs I’ve realised just how diverse the beauty blogging community is, and most bloggers don’t appear to conform to the stereotypes.
I feel sad that our hobby is often regarded with such disdain. It’s thought of as frivolous, trivial and altogether rather pointless. Your appearance, rightly or wrongly (that’s a WHOLE other debate!) has a huge impact on your daily life and surely it makes us sensible rather than senseless to invest time and gain pleasure from making the best of what we started life with?
Even my husband (who is completely tolerant) will roll his eyes and gently tease me about going to ‘play’ with my makeup. I asked him curiously if he could think of another word to replace ‘play’ that didn’t make me sound like an 11 year old about to raid my mother’s vanity case. He couldn’t, and neither could I. I don’t mind the expression, I use it myself – but I do think it’s indicative of the attitude that prevails when it comes to beauty.
Either way, I can live with it up until the moment that people I hold in high regard look at me as if I should know better.
Do you have anyone in your life that understands YOU, but just can’t seem to grasp your love for this ‘superficial’ hobby of ours? And perhaps more importantly, do you notice it having any impact on your perceived credibility?
What a great post! Very thought provoking. Those who are close to me ‘get’ my interest in makeup and are not judgemental at all. There are those who just don’t get it though and don’t understand what it is we actually talk about. I try not to let that bother me and instead focus on all the positive aspects of our community.
Michelle
xxx
do you redo your site? It looks fabulous!
its so funny. i am half way through a similar post to this! I understand where you are coming from. I think people think my makeup obsession is funny. My family makes jokes. But I pretty much ignore it because I know they just dont understand. Its funny any questions or beauty related purchases they always tell me about. How funny is that!
i love how you said the beauty blogger is different doesn’t meet the stereotype. I realized that to be true even more looking at all the pictures from the makeup snow and imats. every one looks different. The passion on the inside is the only thing thats the same!
Sara (themakeupsnob.com)
Hmmm a lot of people don’t know how much I’m into make up until they see my collection. I save all my make up chat for the one friend who’s just as obsessed about it as me (Patience of The Virtues of Beauty). My boyf is fine with it and accepts it’s “my thing”, just like gadgets or anything released by Apple is his.
My love of MU comes as a surprised shock to many, but I quite like it that way to be honest.
@Michelle – as long as the ones you care about most don’t judge, that’s all that matters I guess
@Sara – Thank You, I just changed my header 🙂
@Yinka – None of my friends are particularly interested unfortunately, I’ll just have to make do with you lot!
Its not distain… its a deep sence of resentment that we can dedicate our time and energy to this, whilst they dont even know how to start. They may look at it as a vanity basted hobby but I bet you they are sitting there wearing mascara, foundation, perfume, hairspray… sort of hypocrytical dont you think?
At 22.. i find myself one of the youngest bloggers! Everyone is so setled in their lives and so secure! Most of the people who im always exchanging make-up tips/comments with ARE married with kids. I feel left out!! The majority of bloggers are doffo.. not airkissing, teens!
My sister is just about to turn 40.. has worked as a Organic cosmetics distributor and she found that often the most critical people were her biggest clients. Luckily Ive been fortunate that all my friends (including the men) are very supported and interested… the men are always asking for men’s product posts.
I would ignore any little comments or shifts in how someone percieves you. Even if they are close to you.. im sure its all just a lack of fulfillment from their side. If they were truly happy they would be happy for you.
We love the blog.. and it does get read.. so clearly there is interest. Id take that as a huge sucess…. your hobby is loved!
Morning Tali, I admire your headstrong attitude, it’s really refreshing to see someone so unapologetically dedicated to their pleasures! I always feel as though I need to quantify and explain why I love this hobby of mine – I’m gonna stop apologising for it!
What an interesting post. I agree with what you’re saying though, I notice people immediately think I’m image obsessed and therefore pretty shallow if I start talking about fashion or makeup in great detail.
The worst moment for me was when I told my university tutor that I wanted to branch into the beauty field, and he said I should be looking to chose a more ‘serious’ career. I was motified. This is a perfectly respectable hobby and/or career to have so it is upsetting when people think it is only for young bimbo’s! Huff! xxx
Great post–I think it’s something that runs through all of our heads at one time or another. Beauty products and the like, are something that most all women can relate to on some level–regardless of what we arrive at the table with. I’ve had my share of eye-rolling, if overheard discussing makeup and cosmetics, but those are the very ones that come to me later with questions, seeing as the walls that they’ve built have left them with little room to learn. It’s perfectly alright to have a passion about this–especially this!
I get this a lot a work, if I mention it to colleagues – women seem interested, but men look at me like they think its all a bit pathetic. They don’t continue with that when I talk about trips to london and getting samples to review though lol!
i know what you mean.. i told a coworker female frd about my blog and my interest in beauty.. she’s made some really judgemental comments on it, which has really pissed me off in the past. She basically looked down on the idea that maybe I would like to work with something related with makeup/beauty in the future. She even asked “what does your parents think about that?” what kind of question is that??? Anyway I totally understand your rant!
@Nicola – Absolutely! Wow, your university tutor sounds ‘old skool’ – especially when image is ‘everything’ nowadays.
@SukaandSpice – It’s great that you’re the go to girl and I hope they come back to you cap in hand!
@Jenn, in general I find that although men don’t understand… they don’t try to make me feel small or silly about my passion. So no matter how daft they think it is, at least they’re straight up about their lack of understanding!
@Nic Nic – I can see you know where I’m coming from LOL, what a small minded lady she is.
Yes, I must admit I’ve come across a little “snobbery” from some people, particularly other women who aren’t into “girly” stuff- it’s almost like they think I don’t care about the more important things in life, like if I gave up makeup I’d defnintely have time to save the planet! It’s silly, i’m still an intellectual person, I have a job I’m very passionate about, I’m studying and I’m a mother of 2 small children… does it make me a bad person if I want to look nice too???